When bitching on alt.sysadmin.recovery, some of the contributors have
authored the man pages they really wish were included in UNIX (with
their associated commands). They (sysadmins) truely are a twisted lot,
and these contributions help to prove the point.
The ASR man page collection is a comprehensive reference to many of the
things sysadmins have to deal with in the profession.
Section 1 : general commands (tools and utilities)
- c(1)
genericised soft drink generator (ie coffee, coke etc)
- rtfm(1)
read the fscking manual
- slave(1)
a semi-interactive interactive command for the dirty work
- sysadmin(1)
responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with
the system you're using. Contraction of "system" and "administrator"
- think(1)
you don't have to think, the computer can think for you
- whack(1)
mangle requests to a printer or damage a printer
Section 2 : system calls and error numbers
- people(2)
fetch a structure containing all ttys, whose owner behaves like a human
Section 3 : the C libraries
Section 5 : file formats
- normality(5)
definition of what types of normalities different users may have.
Section 8 : system maintenance and operation commands
- bosskill(8)
send a signal to your boss, or terminate your boss
- ctluser(8)
control lusers
- guru(8)
System administration
- knife(8)
tools to improve network performance via SNIP
- lart(8)
Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool - use a lart to adjust lusers' attitudes
- luser(8)
process to control the clueless individuals who (mis)use computer
systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play
on "loser" and "user".
- nuke(8)
launch nuclear weapons at known sites.
- pmsd(8)
Periodically Manic System Daemon. Manages the bizzare and sometimes
unexplainable behavior exhibited by computers.