When bitching on alt.sysadmin.recovery, some of the contributors have
authored the man pages they really wish were included in UNIX (with
their associated commands). They (sysadmins) truely are a twisted lot,
and these contributions help to prove the point.
The ASR man page collection is a comprehensive reference to many of the
things sysadmins have to deal with in the profession.
Section 1 : general commands (tools and utilities)
genericised soft drink generator (ie coffee, coke etc)
read the fscking manual
a semi-interactive interactive command for the dirty work
responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with
the system you're using. Contraction of "system" and "administrator"
you don't have to think, the computer can think for you
mangle requests to a printer or damage a printer
Section 2 : system calls and error numbers
fetch a structure containing all ttys, whose owner behaves like a human
Section 3 : the C libraries
Section 5 : file formats
definition of what types of normalities different users may have.
Section 8 : system maintenance and operation commands
send a signal to your boss, or terminate your boss
tools to improve network performance via SNIP
Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool - use a lart to adjust lusers' attitudes
process to control the clueless individuals who (mis)use computer
systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play
on "loser" and "user".
launch nuclear weapons at known sites.
Periodically Manic System Daemon. Manages the bizzare and sometimes
unexplainable behavior exhibited by computers.